I returned to school yesterday, on the 11th. My vision is still just as unclear as ever, and on Sunday especially it was causing me a great deal of frustration. My parent's home isn't brightly lit, and since the surgery, my time spent there-in leaves me feeling like I'm living underwater; everything is washed out and indistinct, and the glare is especially atrocious.
The doctors told me not to cover a single eye or to close one eye a time, a habit I started after the surgery to compare the results between the two eyes. They said that it confuses the brain and interferes with the ability to make a single, clear image. However, closing my right eye helps to quell the worst of the double-vision (contrarily, closing just my left eye leaves the double-vision intact.) It's difficult not to want to do it, but I try to follow direction.
I've considered that I might end up wearing an eyepatch like a mighty awesome pirate if things don't work out. I'm hopeful with regards to the glasses the doctors are offering, but most of my research (granted, mostly anecdotal evidence) suggests that it might not be the life-saver I'm hoping for. We'll see.
My parents are pushing me to see someone about the depression I've expressed to them, but I'm going to put that off until the glasses arrive. No doubt if they arrive and don't help to alleviate this problem, my mood will sink lower yet, and then seeing a professional might become a necessary thing.
I've been looking into what I might face if I wanted to ditch this semester on medical grounds. Between terrible eyesight and this misery, I have been falling further behind every day. It is hard to focus in class when my attention is pulled constantly away from the lecture or topic at hand and forced toward the things that I see that I know are not an accurate reflection of reality.
I'm thinking about putting myself into sensory deprivation and seeing if I can force myself to hallucinate. This isn't related necessarily to the surgery, but it might be related to my generally deflated mood lately.
Sorry for leaving my (non-extant) readers in silence for the last week.
Might the sun always light your way.
Okay, so the ads are working now, but the first one I saw was for LASIK FUCKING EYE SURGERY
ReplyDeleteI laughed in that sort of "oh wow, cringe" sort of way.
xoxo ♥
Yeah I guess that is to be expected though. It is the core subject matter here I guess. Good luck to people who read this stuff and are motivated to try it out anyway. I don't know if my results are typical, and maybe they'll have some luck!
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